Loved and Lost
by alligatorpie
Summary: When a man from the army shows up on Alice Whitlock's front porch, saying her husband, Jasper, is missing in action and assumed dead, how will Alice cope? All human, lots of flashbacks, AlicexJasper. Happy ending, I promise. *COMPLETE*
1. Chapter 1

Alice's POV

I sat on the couch in the living room, where I had been all night, still crying.

"_Missing in action, assumed dead." _

Those dreadful words had broken my heart so badly, it would never be fixed. I told Jasper he shouldn't have gone, so why did he? I'm usually right about these kinds of things, and he knows it! So why did he go?!

_Flashback: The night before_

_I gazed at the TV, where the news was showing information about the war, when the doorbell rang. I looked up. It was already dark, and it always made me uneasy when people rang the doorbell at night. I moved to the door, and stood on my toes to look through the peephole. A man, about ten years older than Jasper, I'd guess, stood on the porch in full military uniform. I opened the door._

"_Mrs. Alice Whitlock?" He asked. _

"_Yes." I said. _

"_Spouse of Jasper Whitlock?" _

"_Yes." I repeated. _

_The man took off his hat. _

"_I'm Major Peter Grammings. Do you have a minute, Mrs. Whitlock? I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news." The man said. _

"_Yes, please come in." I said, stepping back. He came inside, and I led him to the living room. I flipped off the TV, and said, "Please sit down. Can I get you anything?" _

"_No, thank you, Ma'am." He said, sitting down in a chair. "I'm sorry to inform you that Jasper is missing in action, assumed dead." _

_My heart lurched, and I sank down onto the couch. _

"_I'm very sorry, Mrs. Whitlock." He said. _

"_'Assumed dead'? What does that mean?" I asked. _

"_It means that we have no actual proof that he is dead, but no other explanation makes sense." He said. _

_Tears gushed down my cheeks. The man left the information for a memorial service for Jasper on the coffee table, told me again how sorry he was, and left. _

_End Flashback_

My Jasper was gone. Dead. Never coming back. Ever. A fresh wave of tears rolled down my face when I realized that we wouldn't be able to even celebrate our one-year marriage anniversary. We had gotten married last time he had been able to come home for a few weeks. He had said that he wanted to be married to me as soon as possible, so we had thrown together a wedding that a hundred people attended in two weeks. That was about six months ago.

Rosalie and Emmett. I suddenly remembered them. Rosalie was Jasper's twin sister, and my best friend. Emmett was Jasper's best friend, and Rosalie's fiancée. Emmett wanted Jasper to be his best man, so they were waiting until Jasper was home again to have their wedding.

I stood up shakily, and went to the phone in the kitchen. I dialed Rosalie's number.

"Jell-o." Emmett answered the phone as he always did.

"Is Rose there?" I squeaked/sobbed.

"Uh, I have no idea what you just said, but I'm going to assume it's for Rose." Emmett responded. "Rosie! It's for you! I think!" Emmett yelled.

"Hello?" Rose said into the phone.

"Rose, it's Alice." I said.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"Jasper..." I sobbed.

"What happened to him?" She asked fearfully.

"Missing in action...assumed dead...." I trailed off, crying to hard to say anything else.

"Oh, God..." Rose said. She must've dropped the phone, because the next thing I heard was a loud crash, then her sobbing.

"Rose?" Emmett's voice came through the phone. "What's wrong?"

I dropped the phone as well, and sank to the floor. I wrapped my arms around my knees, and rocked back and forth. After what seemed like a long time, I heard the front door open.

"Alice?" My friend Bella called.

"Kitchen." I said.

Bella came into the kitchen, and crouched next to me on the floor.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I explained everything to Bella. After I explained, she picked up the phone, and set it back on the hook. Then she grabbed me under the arms, and helped me to my feet. She led me to the couch, and we sat down. I sobbed into Bella's shoulder. After a while, I noticed Bella was crying, too.

I couldn't think. Jasper...gone...

He was so perfect for me. The only reason I could drag myself out of bed in the morning was so I could look at the pictures of us hung up in the hall. There would never be more of those pictures.

_Flashback_

"_What's wrong, honey?" Jasper's voice came from behind me. I turned. _

"_There's just so much to do before the wedding, Jasper." I whined. _

"_It's okay," He said, sitting down next to me. _

"_No, it's not! The invitations still have to be printed, and I have no idea what I even want them to look like, and we have to pick out place settings, and flowers, and me and Rose have a dress fitting tomorrow, and--"_

_Jasper put a finger over my lips to silence me. I fell silent instantly._

"_Breathe, honey." He said. I inhaled. "Let it out." He said. I exhaled. He scooted his chair closer so he could hug me. He rubbed my back, and pressed his lips to my hair. _

"_It'll be fine, sweetheart." He murmured. _

"_Yeah, I know." I said. _

_He smiled down at me, then kissed my nose._

_End Flashback_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello! Sorry it took me so long to update. I thought that I had, and I just realized that I never did. Enjoy!**

The memorial service had been over for more than two hours, but I was still standing there in the cemetery, staring at Jasper's headstone, above Jasper's empty grave. It wasn't dark and rainy, like funerals in books and movies. It was bright, not a cloud in the sky, like Mother Nature was defying me, just trying to piss me off.

"Alice?"

I turned. Rosalie was walking toward me. Her hair was hanging loose down her back, no longer in the elegant bun it had been in for the funeral. Her BMW was parked on the curb about 100 feet away.

"What, Rosalie?" I said, turning back to his grave.

"You can't waste your life here, Alice, just staring at his grave." Rose said.

"What life? He was my entire life. I don't know how I'm going to function, knowing that I'll never wake up beside him again." I said. Tears started streaming down my face again.

"I know, Alice," Rose whispered.

She stood there with me for a few minutes, then said, "Let's go,"

"No." I said.

"Alice..." She pulled my arm, trying to drag me back to her car. I jerked my arm out of her grasp, and sank to the ground. I wished that Jasper's body could have been here. So I could have felt nearer to him, at least.

Rose sat on the ground next to me. She wrapped her arms around me. I felt her tears falling onto my shoulder.

"Let's go." I said. I stood up, and walked toward my yellow Porsche. The car Jasper had given me as a wedding present.

_Flashback_

"_Ali?" Jasper called from outside. It was right after the wedding; I was still wearing my dress._

"_I'm coming, baby." I called back, walking out of the kitchen, through the living room, and out the front door. _

_Jasper was leaning against a yellow Porsche with a big red bow on the hood. I walked over to him. _

"_For you," He said, handing me a set of keys. "You like Porsche's, right?" _

"_Oh, my God!" I squealed, jumping up and down. I threw my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and he lifted me off the ground and spun me around. _

"_You like it?" He whispered into my neck, setting me down again. _

"_I freakin' love it!" I yelled. _

"_Wanna take it for a spin?" He asked. _

"_Yes, but there's something I want to do first." I said. _

"_Oh, yeah, and what's that?" He asked. _

"_Something that we are both over-dressed for," I said, grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards the door. _

"_Oh, well, I think we can handle that, my horny little pixie." Jasper said. _

_I aimed a smack at his arm, but he ducked around me, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. He started kissing my neck. _

"_Jazz? We're still outside," I said as his tongue moved across my neck. _

"_Mmm-hmm." He said. _

"_Who's horny now?" I asked, giggling. _

"_Well, fine, be that way." Jasper said, pulling away from me, unwinding his arms from around me and stepping away. _

"_Jasper..." I whined. _

_He turned his head away from me when I stepped closer. I moved to the side, and he turned his head the other way. _

"_Jasper!" I whined again. He looked down at me and laughed. I laughed to, and he pulled me into his arms in a bridal hold, and carried me inside, and up the stairs. _

_End Flashback_

I got into the front seat of the Porsche and put the key in the ignition. I turned it, and it purred to life. I sat staring at the steering wheel for a minute before I put the car into gear and drove toward home. I needed gas. I pulled into the parking lot of the gas station. I parked next to a pump and got out of the car. I slid my credit card into the machine.

"Hiya, pretty lady." A voice said from behind me. I turned. A man who must've been twice my age was standing on the other side of my car, staring at me. "Why don't you get your pretty little self back in the car, and I'll take care of the gas for you?" He drawled.

"No, thanks." I said, hitting the button for premium gas, and sliding the nozzle into the tank.

"Why come?" He said.

"Because I am perfectly capable of pumping my own Goddamn gas, and if I was you, I'd be getting away from me and my car now." I snapped.

"Ooh, feisty." He said, licking his lips.

"I'm married, and if you don't back the hell off, then you can bet I'll be seeing you in court." I said.

The man sneered at me, took one last look at my chest, then strutted back to his car, which was a rusty piece of crap.

I finished pumping my gas, put the nozzle away, screwed the cap back onto the tank, snapped the cover shut, took my receipt, and got back into the car. I took a deep breath, then started the car, and drove home.

I parked in the garage, and went into the house. I went to the kitchen to get something to eat, not because I was hungry, just for something to do. I opened the fridge and saw that I had all the ingredients for lasagna, Jasper's favorite food. Tears filled my eyes, and I slammed the refrigerator door shut.

I stormed back into the living room, and flopped onto the couch. I noticed Jasper's iPod on the coffee table, with the earbud chord wrapped around it. I reached forward and grabbed it. I turned it on. The song that was playing currently was Lips of An Angel by Hinder. A song that we played at our wedding. I put the earbuds in my ears and turned it on.

_Honey, why you calling me so late?_

_It's kinda hard to talk right now. _

I pulled the earbuds out of my ears. Tears were streaming down my face. I took several deep breaths and pulled myself together. I started listening again.

_My girl's in the next room_

_Sometimes I wish she was you_

_I guess we never really moved on..._

I put my head down on my knees.

_It's really good to hear your voice_

_Sayin' my name_

_It sounds so sweet_

_Comin' from the lips on an angel_

_Hearin' those words it makes me weak_

_Let it die_

_Never wanna say goodbye_

_But girl you make it _

_Hard to be faithful_

_With the lips of an angel_

I stopped listening again. I looked around the room. Everything here reminded me of Jasper; The TV he had watched, the couch that he had sat on, and jacket he had worn, the coaster he had used, everything. I wanted it all gone. But how could I just get rid of everything that reminds me of him? I couldn't.

I looked down at my hand. The diamond on my ring was glittering in the soft light from the lamp next to me. I vowed that I would never take the ring off. Ever.

**A/N: Please let me know what you think!**


	3. Chapter 3

"No, Rose." I said.

"Alice...."

"I said no." I repeated.

"Okay, so you're just going to leave all of his stuff exactly as he left it, even though he's never going to be here to use it again?" Rose asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Yes." I said.

"Alice, it's been two years. You have to move on."

"No, I don't." I said. "More coffee?"

I stood up and went to the coffee maker and picked up the coffeepot. I poured more coffee into my cup, then refilled hers.

"Alice. You are going insane. Literally. I'm worried about you." Rose said.

"I'm not going insane, Rose," I said patiently, rolling my eyes.

"Alice, his jacket is still on the hook he left it on."

"It's not always there. I wear it sometimes." I said defensively.

"Yeah, you wear it while you listen to his iPod, and watch his movies, and look at pictures with him in them. You are obsessed. He is not coming back. You have to accept that and move on with your life." Rose said.

"I'm not ready to move on, Rose. I miss him so much." I said. I sat back down.

"Do you remember what Jasper asked you to do before he left?" Rose asked.

_Flashback_

"_Don't leave me, Jasper." I said. Tears filled my eyes, and I tried to hold it in. _

"_Don't worry, Darlin'." He said. "Nothing is going to happen. I'm going to be fine. I'll come home to you soon." _

"_But what if something happens to you?" I asked. _

"_Nothing will happen, Alice. I promise."_

"_But if something does--"_

"_Then you will move on. Get on with your life. Don't waste your time on me." He said. _

"_But--" _

"_Promise me that you'll move on if anything happens to me." He said. _

"_Jasper..."_

"_Promise me, Alice." _

_I looked up into his sky blue eyes. Nothing in his eyes made me think he was lying. _

"_I promise." _

_End Flashback_

"You promised him you would move on, Alice."

"I...I can't..."

"Yes, you can. I'll set you up with a guy from my job for Friday night. I'll come over and help you get ready."

"But today is only Thursday!" I objected.

"Yep." Rose stood up, grabbed her purse and jacket, and left.

I sank down in my chair. A date. That bitch is going to make me go on a date!

_Flashback_

_I looked around the 50s style diner, then looked at my watch. 45 minutes late. If it was anyone else, I would've left after they were five minutes late. But, this guy seemed special. I didn't really know why, but he seemed like the kind of person I could spend forever with. _

_The door to the diner swung open, and a tall blonde man came in. The most gorgeous man in the world. He looked way better in person than in the picture Rose had shown me. _

_I hopped off my stool and walked over to him. He looked down at me, causing his hair to fall into his face. _

"_You've kept me waiting a long time." I said. _

_He ducked his head. _

"_I'm sorry, ma'am," He said in the sexiest Southern accent ever. _

_I held out my hand. He stared at it for a second, then took it. I looked up into his eyes, and smiled._

_End flashback_


	4. Chapter 4

"Here, put on this." Rose said. She was standing in my closet, and she came out with a knee-length, black, halter top dress.

I silently obeyed while Rose looked through my shoes. She came back with black five-inch stilettos and black tights. I put them on. I had decided it was pointless to argue with her. I would go on the date, and leave as soon as it wouldn't be rude. I'd tell her I hadn't liked the guy, and she had horrible taste in men.

She sat me down at my vanity, with me facing away from the mirror. She spiked my hair out with gel, then did my make-up. She lined my eyes, put mascara on me, and put dark red lipstick on me.

She picked through my jewelry, and put large silver hoops in my ears, and a big silver locket that Jasper had given me around my neck.

"You are perfect." She said. "Let's go, we're taking my car; he'll drive you home."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me down the stairs and out to her car. I got in the passenger side and put on my seatbelt. Rose got in the drivers side and put the car in reverse. She backed out of the driveway, and started driving.

"You'll like this guy, Alice." She said.

"Sure." I said.

_Flashback_

_I was pacing back an forth, yanking my long white dress along behind me. _

"_Breathe, Alice." Rose reminded me. _

"_I am breathing." I said. _

"_Calmness is good." Rose said, watching my progress across the small room. _

"_Calmness? You're not about to get married, Rose."_

"_True." She said. _

"_Fifteen minutes." Bella said, coming into the room. _

_Bella and Rose were both wearing floor-length silver tank top dresses. My dress was also a floor-length tank top dress, but mine was white, and I had a veil. Cause I'm special. _

"_Alice!" Jasper yelled from outside the room. _

"_Crap!" Bella and Rose said together. _

_Bella grabbed my arm and pulled me behind the privacy screen I had changed behind. Rose checked that I was completely concealed, then opened the door. _

"_What?" She snapped. _

"_I need to talk to Alice." He said. _

"_Well, that sucks for you, doesn't it?" Rose said. _

"_You are interrupting our beautification process, Jasper. Bad man points." Bella called from where she was still holding me hostage behind the screen. _

"_I don't need to see her, I just need to talk to her." He said. _

"_Fine." Rose said. "Alice, stay behind that screen." _

_I heard Jasper move across the room to right in front of the screen. _

"_Can we have a second?" Jasper asked Rose._

"_No." She said. _

"_Bella, Rose, go." I said. Bella released my arm and moved from behind the screen. She and Rose left the room, closing the door behind them. _

"_I missed you today, baby. Emmett's not as fun to wake up in the same room with as you." Jasper said. _

_I laughed. _

"_I missed you, too, Jazz." I said. He set his hand against the screen, and I set my hand where his was. _

"_I love you, Darlin'." He said. _

"_I love you, too, baby." I said. _

"_I'll see you out there, honey." He said. His hand left the screen, and he left the room. Rose and Bella came back in. I walked out from behind the screen. _

"_I love that man." I sighed, sinking into a chair. _

_Rose and Bella looked at each other. _

_I opened my mouth again, but Rose started talking before me. _

"_Alice, if you're about to ask my permission to fuck my brother later, then I wouldn't, cause I'm gonna say no." Rose said. I closed my mouth. Bella laughed. _

_End flashback _

Rose parked the car, and only then did I look up from staring at my feet.

"No, no, no, no, Rose, don't do this to me," I said, staring at the 50s diner she had taken me too. The same one I had met Jasper at. She knew that I had met Jasper there.

"This is where he wanted to meet, okay? Take a chill pill." Rose said. She got out of the car. I slowly unclipped my seatbelt, and stepped out of the car. I followed Rose up to the door. She held it open for me, and I stepped through. I was staring at the ground. I didn't want to see anything here. I hadn't been here since Jasper died.

I felt two fingers under my chin, lifting my head. I closed my eyes. Of course Rose would set me up with some guy with no sense of personal space.

"Open your eyes." The voice that went with the hand said. I froze. I slowly opened my eyes. I was looking into the sky blue eyes of the man I hadn't seen in two and a half years.

"Jasper...?" I said. He smiled. I collapsed into his arms, sobbing.

"Shh, shh, shh, calm down, Darlin'." He said stroking my hair. "What did you do to her?" He asked Rose.

"I didn't tell her it was you." She said. "I had her thinking I was setting her up with a guy from my office. I wanted to surprise her."

"Rose, you're such a trouble maker." Jasper said.

"I know." She said, a smile in her voice.

"I'll see you guys later," Rose said, sliding out the door.

"I missed you so much, Alice." Jasper whispered.

"How did....When did....how?" I asked.

"I got out of where _they_ where keeping me, and got on a plane. I called Rose, and she said to meet you here." He said.

"Rose is such a bitch." I sobbed/laughed.

"I love you, Darlin'." He said.

"I love you, too, Jasper." I said.

"Are you in the mood for dinner, or shall we go home?" He asked.

"Home." I said instantly. "There are things we can do there that it's illegal to do in public."

He smiled, and followed me out the door.

**A/N: Dun Dun DUN!!!! He's BACK!!!! This is the last chapter; there will be an epilogue soonly. **


	5. Epilogue

**A/N: Well. Here I am with the Epilogue, like, a year later. Sorry about that. I thought that I'd uploaded it a way long time ago. I was looking at the list of my stories, and I was like, "What? Four chapters? Weren't there five...?" And indeed. There should have been five. So here it is. **

"Come on, baby-doll," Jasper whispered in my ear. He was the only one who was actually helping me; All the damn doctors and nurses where far to serious and business-like to be reassuring.

"Push, Alice." The _male_ doctor ordered. "Come on, I know it's hard, but you can do it."

"_You_ know it's hard?" I yelled. "Have you ever pushed something the size of a _cantaloupe_ out a hole the _size of a grape_?"

"Breathe, honey." One of the nurses ordered.

"I _am _breathing, bitch!" I screamed.

The nurse looked taken aback, and Jasper pressed his face into my hair to hide his laughter.

"It's alright, Darlin', just push, honey. It'll all be okay." Jasper said.

"Promise?" I asked. He looked into my eyes.

"I promise." He said.

He wrapped his arm around my back and held me forward. My hand found his, and I squeezed it. He winced.

"Push!" The doctor said. I resisted the temptation to kick him.

"Push!" He said again.

"Say it again, and my foot is going to be in your ear!" I screamed.

"Listen to her, doc, she is really good at molesting peoples ears with her feet," Jasper said.

The doctor grimaced and leaned away from my foot.

"Come on, Darlin'," Jasper said. I squeezed his hand harder and pushed for all I was worth.

"Here's it's head," The doctor said.

"No shit!" I yelled.

"Shoulders," The doctor murmured.

Jasper continued to whisper words of encouragement in my ear as I pushed.

"Chest...stomach...come on, you're almost there." The doctor said.

I saw that two of the three nurses were standing in the corner, talking.

"Knees, and...done!" The doctor said. He stood up, our baby in his arms.

"Gimme..." I said, holding my hands out. The doctor wrapped the baby in a towel and handed it to me.

"A beautiful baby girl." He said.

I looked into the face of my baby. She looked like Jasper, but she had my eyes.

"She's beautiful." Jasper murmured. "Just like you."

One of the nurses came and took my daughter from my arms.

"No!" I said.

"Calm down, honey," Jasper said, catching my shoulder and pushing me back as I attempted to stand up. "They just need to get her cleaned up."

We sat there together for a few minutes, and the doctor and nurses all left.

"I'll be right back, honey, I need to go call my mom." Jasper said.

"Alright." I said.

He stood up, kissed my hand and left the room, flexing the hand I'd been holding. Bella came into the room as he left it.

"Hey," She said, sitting in Jasper's vacated chair.

"Hi," I said.

"I just met your doctor's son. He is so hot, and he asked me out!" Bella said.

"That's awesome, Bells," I said. "What's his name?"

"Edward Cullen." She said.

"Where are you guys going out to?" I asked.

"Well, technically, we're meeting in the cafeteria for Jell-O in fifteen minutes." Bella said. I laughed.

"Jell-O. Classy." I said.

"I know, right?" Bella said, completely missing my sarcasm.

"I should probably get down there," Bella said, standing up. "I'll see you later, Alice."

"See you. I want every single detail when you come back!" I said.

"Of course!" Bella said, missing my sarcasm again. I rolled my eyes.

Jasper came back a few minutes later, holding our baby. He sat on the edge of my bed, and handed her to me.

"What should we name her?" I asked, looking down at her.

"What do you want to name her?" Jasper asked.

"Iris." I said suddenly.

"Iris. I like it." Jasper said.

We smiled at each other. He leaned forward and kissed me.

"Bye, mom!"

"Iris, get back in here!" I yelled.

The little blonde girl poked her head around the corner.

"You didn't hug me." I said.

Iris ran over to me and hugged me around the legs.

"'Kay, bye!" She tried to leave the kitchen again, but I caught her arm.

"And your lunch." I said. Iris smiled, took the brown lunch bag from my hand and ran out the front door.

Jasper came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I can't believe she's in first grade already." I sighed.

"Yeah...before we know it, she'll be like, 'Bye, I'm going to college, see you at Christmas!'." Jasper imitated Iris' high voice.

"Shut up, you're making me feel old." I said, twisting away from him to open the fridge.

"I gotta get going, honey. Work." Jasper said.

"Alright, just leave me all alone here all day long." I teased. He smiled, kissed my check and left the room. I heard the front open, the close. A few minutes later, the phone rang.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Alice!" Bella squealed in my ear.

"Ow! Jesus, Bells," I said, holding the phone away from my ear.

"I'm pregnant!" Bella squealed.

"Oh my gosh! Yay! I'm so happy for you, Bella!" I squealed, jumping up and down.

"Thank you!" Bella squealed.

"Celebratory Girls Night Out tonight!" I said. "I'll call Rose, we'll take care of everything!" I promised.

"Yay! I have to go. I'll talk to you later." Bella said. We hung up, and I started dialing Rose's number.

Everything was perfect. It got as bad as it could, then it got better again. I thought I was doomed forever, but my knight in shining armor came back for me. My Romeo came back from the dead.

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed this. For as long as it took me to upload, you'd think I had some killer writers block, but actually, I stayed up all night one night, and wrote the entire story then. I tried to have a regular updating day/days every week for each story, but that didn't work out, for unknown reasons. I'm sure y'all love me a lot now, right?**

Well, I'm a beta reader, so if any of you need a beta, I'm available. XD

xxAlli


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